#I have a feeling this may be a controversial one

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Ik the point of Andrias' fantasy fire sword is to help the viewer suspend their disbelief enough to convince us Marcy could survive being fantasy stabbed + offer a convincing explanation for the lack of blood and gore you'd see if it were a more realistic situation aimed at more mature audiences. Obviously it works because Amphibia is a show for 10 year olds first and foremost, and the episode managed to make its way into Disney Channel despite the controversy.

But if you're a fandom obsessed adult like me and you like to imagine the realistic implications of marcyharm for fun, it becomes so much more brutal. Not only is her spine completely severed and, her sternum shattered and all of her ribs dislocated and possibly broken, her heart and lungs must be charred completely alongside all surrounding organs like uhh the stomach, liver, idk much about anatomy but basically anything the sword didn't touch directly most likely got horrible burns as well. She has burns in organs that aren't ever supposed to get burned. Her skin all around the area must have melted horribly and we KNOW she has a scar, canonically. Artists usually interpret it as a long vertical white line but for all we know it could be all the skin around her chest melted down like the wax of a dying candle, dripping from a central line in the middle. I wish I could draw it but my interpretation would extend the scar like literally all across her chest, probably resulting in the skin of her breasts being deformed as well, and before you come at me with torches and pitchforks for saying that, you're the weird one if you think even aknowledging most girls have breasts is a sexual thing. I'm here for the whump and body horror, not for adult content portraying a 14yo. Also that's the main reason I don't feel comfortable drawing the full extent of it, because I don't want to draw a 14yo's boobs and post it on the Internet for creeps to see. Sadly most people won't see my vision of "the bigger the scar the cooler it is" and understand that the placement just happens to be in an unfortunate place for a young girl. Idk where I was going with this, I just wanted to express my appreciation for marcyharm and share my ideas around what her scar may look like. Also, I need to mention: she totally had to grow a new heart and lungs in the tank, as well as a new spine and sternum and possibly some new ribs. Now I'm thinking about a sasharcy resistance AU in which Sasha rescues her too early, before she finishes healing, and now she can't walk because her nervous system hasn't fully regenerated. Cue Sasha feeling immense guilt while still resenting her while still loving her while still not wanting to see her while still taking care of her and being overprotective but also mean about it at the same time. And Marcy feeling like the trauma, the mistreatment and the physical damage are still too good for her because she deserved to die for what she'd done. So she just submissively accepts anything Sasha throws her way because she lost all sense of self-worth and

[catboy-beckett]

Someone on the Tokyo Debunker subreddit brought up ships for MC (as in, not just the characters players like/are attracted to, but ones we actually think would go well with the protagonist) and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I find it an interesting question, because my preferences for myself are pretty noticeably different from who I think she would like! So here are my compatibility assessments!

Disclaimer: I have only played through most episodes once, so my memory of TDB lore may be lacking in certain areas. I also have not completed all affinity stories and have not spoiled myself on them. Also note I will be using "you"/"me"/"us"/"I"/etc. to refer to MC interchangeably with "MC"/"her" because that's just how I'm used to talking about video game protagonists Spoilers avoided for newest episode but only newest episode.

JABBERWOCK

HARU: I honestly think he is MC's favourite! He's the one she's most often happy to see, and in return he is always grateful for her help. MC seems to volunteer at Jabberwock reasonably often and with little prompting; this isn't necessarily because she's infatuated with Haru, but rather I think it shows they have similar priorities.

REN: He's giving a whole lot of nothing. A lot of the opportunities given to him in-story to bond with her, he outright rejects. He doesn't seem interested in getting into a relationship, or even forming a friendship that could lead to a relationship. I'm all for "enemies to lovers" but you've gotta show the attraction from the beginning! Otherwise it just feels like a shoehorned-in plot twist.

TOWA: Very romantic. Very mysterious. Compelling, and they clearly like each other. My biggest complaint here is that Towa is someone who needs more screentime for an arc. He's not a simple character. I also think MC would be a little afraid of him if it ever really clicks for her what he's capable of. (Both power-level-wise and morals-wise.) I know fans love Towa's yandere tendencies but MC shows no enthusiasm for that type of man.

SINOSTRA

TAIGA: My favourite man! Terrible for MC. She is pretty much trembling in her boots whenever he's around. I can't see a romantic future for them. Taiga's ideal wife is Romeo, and MC just doesn't have the backbone to be Romeo. That said, I think MC having an inconvenient physical attraction to Taiga would be narratively interesting (and fuckin' hot), as who doesn't love the tension between a dangerous violent freak and a shivering field mouse? There are a couple of other points in Taiga's favour too: the fact that he's the ghoul who seems to react to MC's personality the most (he's always noticing how timid she is and seems to find that cute/attractive) and the fact that he eats anomalies (😳) set him apart from most other love interests. Taiga is down to fuck but he's not really a viable option to date.

ROMEO: This might be controversial but I think Romeo is one of those ghouls who has his own love interest, and it isn't you. I'm not even sure he likes women. I've never once felt like Romeo had an interest in my character and the only time he flirted with us was to make Kaito jealous. Honestly that felt more like ship teasing between him and Kaito if anything. As for how MC feels about him, I think she's about as intimidated by him as she is by Taiga, though it's slightly easier to get Romeo to Not Murder You than it is Taiga. Romeo can at least be reasoned with.

RITSU: Never shows an ounce of attraction or even warmth. Even when he smiles at someone, it feels more like professional courtesy than a reflection of his feelings. How would someone like Ritsu fall in love? It's a fascinating question, but the game is not yet interested in giving us an answer. He tends to bully MC into doing what he wants just like Romeo does. He uses social pressure rather than violence, which I think she finds preferable to Romeo's method, but not pleasant. There's also the fact that Ritsu is dedicated to becoming Taiga's lawyer, and I honestly think he would continue trying to defend him if MC ever wanted to press charges for, say, the time he shot her, or the time he tried to throw her out of a train. Taiga's romance potential is already shot because of these things; what can we say of someone who would take Taiga's side?

FROSTHEIM

JIN: Oh boy. Okay, this is the "canon" ship. Jin gets all the tropes, all the sparkly panels of heroically rescuing MC, all the jealous NPCs treating MC like she's already his girlfriend, the works. They could not be pushing this any more clearly. And... it's serviceable. It feels a little out of place in a game like this, and maybe that's why I'm not fully on board, but it works when it works. I just think Jin doesn't have enough screentime to really make the "canon bae" thing stick. Does he KNOW how close we've been getting with 20 other ghouls while he's been absent for several chapters in a row? Does he know he's on a 1-year timer for his slow burn bullshit? I like Jin, and he's one of the most shippable-with-MC characters for sure, but I just think it could be better. It should also be noted that MC is scared of Jin in a similar way that she's scared of Taiga or Romeo. I think honestly she would pick one of the men who hasn't threatened her life yet.

TOHMA: Like Romeo, I judge him one of the "does he even like women?"/"I think he's just using me to get to his husband" type ghouls. He has a flirty manner, but he uses it with everyone, so it means nothing to me when he talks to MC with that same expression. That said, he's more of a simp than Romeo, so while I think Romeo wouldn't care if you fucked his husband, I think Tohma wants you to. I think Tohma is into MC in the way that a stalker might be into a pair of dirty socks once worn by their crush. (And, on a less perverted note, he wants MC to pull Jin out of his depression since he realizes he can't do it by himself--especially now that they're fighting.) I don't think Tohma/MC works as a ship unless it's a complicated situationship with Jin.

KAITO: I don't think MC likes Kaito. She might just be very oblivious (very very VERY oblivious), but she's had many opportunities to respond to his advances and she just kind of no-sells them every time. To me, that kills off any possibility of romance. If MC were more of a self-insert avatar for the player, this wouldn't be an issue, as it would be up to the players to decide whether they liked Kaito or not; but TDB MC has her own thoughts and feelings, and we see them frequently during the episode where she meets Kaito, and the lack of reciprocation is deafening. Another, more possibly controversial point: I don't think Kaito likes MC. I think Kaito wants a girlfriend, and he has gotten it in his head that MC Is Girl, Therefore Perfect For Be Girlfriend. He treats her in a way that he's heard you are "supposed to" treat girls. He doesn't even NOTICE her suspicious behaviour when they meet because he's too busy metagaming the situation; he even gets it into his head that she's "nice" while she's lying to him. He never updates this perception of her. There is nothing about the character, or the way that players play the character, that Kaito actually LIKES. He just wants a girl. Any girl. Bad ship.

LUCAS: Another character who never really expresses attraction to the player character or anyone else. MC has a better relationship with him than she does with Kaito; Lucas doesn't freak out or get jealous or play 4D chess trying to get MC to fall in love with him, so MC can speak to him more honestly. That said, I believe Lucas isn't the sort of person to hide his feelings from MC (or even be able to), so I can't help but read his complete lack of flirtation as a lack of interest. I could believe MC has a one-sided crush on Lucas (which would also make for a really funny group dynamic), but that's about a best-case scenario.

HOTARUBI

HAKU: He really is just "the nice, chill guy" of the roster. Normally those don't compel me at all but Haku is really enjoyable. He's also, at unpredictable points, one of the more horny/flirty characters. Definitely has an attraction to MC, which is a big plus. MC never really gets the chance to respond to his advances, which in this type of game is the closest we get to a canonical attraction from her. (Because of course, they don't want to force players into a romance they might not want.) Good ship! Hard to write about or anything considering Haku is such a mysterious character, but I believe the attraction is real and not part of a dastardly plan, at the very least. Haku definitely puts MC at ease and I think she needs that in a partner.

SUBARU: Another "not sure if he even likes women" situation. Subaru doesn't even come close to the way he acts around Sho, when he's around MC. Subaru is a very cute-and-flustered-around-crushes type, and I think if he were into MC at all, we would see it. I think MC likes Subaru okay as a person but that's it.

ZENJI: This is going to be my most subjective one yet, I think. Zenji is very in his own head. What do I mean by that? I think he would compose seven love ballads for MC and none of them would really be for her. I think he's more attached to the artistic value of love than the feelings themselves. This harms his compatibility with anyone, MC included. As for MC, she actually seems to like Zenji more than the average person does! Or at least more than Haku does. Haku seems to mostly tolerate Zenji, while MC shows enthusiasm for his art in campus stories. Note: this ship becomes untenable in the event that Jiro demonstrates feelings for MC, as I don't think Zenji would compete with him.

MORTKRANKEN JIRO: Does not demonstrate feelings for MC. There are crumbs there, but you have to squint and squeeze to make a ship out of them. I could see MC being attracted to tall, gentle, reliable men, especially ones who made her feel secure during a difficult time in her life... but all we know for sure is that she didn't want to watch him undress for the bath.

YURI: I can see this guy as being the #1 strangest relationship she has with any of the ghouls. At times, he bullies and belittles her, like Ritsu or Romeo or Jin do. Other times, he is working tirelessly to cure her condition and taking the curse more seriously than she's seen anyone else do. He is a very confusingly-supportive love interest. I do not think MC would realistically find romance with him; tsundere that he is, she would need to be more active to really get through to him, and she's a pretty passive person. For Yuri's part, he is embarrassingly infatuated with MC. The man goes beet red when she grabs his hand, for fuck's sake. This is very funny as a one-sided ship and would be equally funny if Yuri decided to actually try confessing, but he is not the best match for MC.

VAGASTROM

ALAN: What do you get when you cross two shy people? Nothing whatsoever, that's what! Alan likes MC but has trouble expressing it and worries about hurting her. MC has a tendency to make herself small and placate people. I'm not sure their relationship can get off the ground in the first place, but if it does, I expect them to have communication issues right away. Mutual conflict-avoidance is not a great foundation for a relationship.

LEO: A great ship for MC if you hate her. Leo is toxic for anyone, but he openly hates MC and wants to get rid of her. If they get into a relationship, it will be one of those dastardly plans I warned of in the ancient scrolls (Haku's paragraph). Has the potential to be really hot though. I don't think MC hates Leo, but I think she avoids him because he seems to hate her. She could be easily manipulated if Leo is so inclined.

SHO: Viable! Sho has never been anything but nice to MC, and it shows in the way she greets him without hesitation. Sho in turn seems to actually like MC, in contrast to Leo. I can't say whether there's any attraction, but there's mutual trust.

OBSCUARY

RUI: Easily one of the most viable ships! There's the romanticism of their mutual curses (as is immediately pointed out by Rui), Rui's open flirtation with MC, the convenient excuse for why they can never hook up (because as stated before, when the excuse is botched it just makes it look like one or both characters isn't interested), and in addition to all that, Rui is one of the nicest and friendliest characters, which is something MC responds well to.

EDWARD: Definitely also a viable ship. MC isn't as intimidated by Ed as she is by characters like Taiga or Jin or even Yuri. The fact that he can overwrite her curse by making her a vampire adds to the intrigue. Ed is both openly horny for MC and expresses interest in being with her forever. The only potential speedbump here is that MC doesn't seem to consider Ed's offer a significant option; her default fear is still "I'm going to die/become a kyklos" rather than "I will have to become a vampire".

LYCA: Has a little potential, but once again the attraction is lacking. I could see Lyca growing to have feelings for MC over time, but it doesn't seem to be the case yet. MC seems to trust Lyca even if he is capable of violence.

In summary BEST SHIPS FOR MC: Haru, Rui, Ed MOST INTERESTING SHIPS: Yuri, Leo WORST SHIPS FOR MC: Taiga, Romeo

[rcbertsugden]

Since there's an anon going round asking people for their top 10 episodes by year, I thought I'd do mine, in chronological order.

2015

- 12th February: the scene between Robert and chaddy is one of my favourite scenes ever. The early show of honesty vulnerability amongst the bravado... yum.

- 8th April: so cute. Robert worried about Aaron being out all night, putting his lil jacket over Aaron like a blanket, care about him I don't just! Stupid interfering bitch. Pebble rock. It's just so good.

- 22nd June: this may be violating the rules because it has nothing to do with robron but I stan the dinner party from hell with coira and chrobert.

- 8th July: for obvious reasons. But also it was my first ever live episode so it holds a massive place in my heart.

- 20th July: the heart eyes, the suits, the sneaking around home farm. Absolute gold.

- 23rd July: just vote for all of July at this rate, I hear you. I would love to. But of course I had to do the insanity of the lodge. The affair reveal is fab but this is included for "falling in love with you ruined everything" and "you said you loved me too remember" and Robert crying on the floor like a lost child.

- 24th September: it's hard to pick between the episodes this week because they're firing on absolutely every cylinder. But from a robron perspective, it has to be this one, as a noted scrapyard scene apologist. Ryan is at his very best here.

- 22nd October: we have the who shot robert flashbacks, "I can't stop loving someone like him", Aaron going to whack him with a wrench, the hurt Robert feels when he finds out Aaron's been arrested and the iconic list of suspects he reels off.

- 2nd December: I'm your man! You're never gonna be that again! My fave robron scene of all time tbh.

- 18th December: I tried to resist but this couple of months is where I live. The flirting in this one! Us living under the same roof wouldn't that be cosy! Robert was so determined to get Aaron back he was willing to inherit a pub. Icon.

2016

- 21st January: my favourite scene of all time may be I'm your man, but this has my favourite line of all time. Being in fandom then was such a good time despite how difficult the storyline was. I just remember reading an article about the episode and it said something along the lines of Robert maybe having a revelation of his own, but I don't think anyone expected an ily??? I had to grip my chair to keep from falling off it. Iconic. The whole episode was so amazingly acted and the centrepiece of one of the best weeks emmerdale ever had.

25th February: the spoiler drop for this one was iconic. We met beloved Liv for the first time, Robert got kneed, we got the entirely ridiculous "of course I still want this" as if Aaron had ever done anything but resist Robert's attempts to get back together, an icon! And of course the first fairly pathetic attempt at a near kiss, love it though. A note for Robert's hair as well.

2nd March: Robert in a maroon suit! The absolutely insane flirting. You lost your touch?!? AS IF?!? Chrissie's "it's good to know who you are". Their faces when Vic says its a date??? Smitten kitten??!?!?!?! I live here x

15th April: we finally get justice for Aaron. We also get the insane Adam realising they're together from one touch, and the absolutely stunning scene outside the woolpack. Probably controversial, but better than the reunion itself for me.

14th July: Yes, Charity catching them in the shower is gold as is Robert's insane lust. The real star of the show is the two boyfriend drops and the hilarious "not that you're not lovely" "or your daughter in law" and "the man went to prison for being gay, guess what in other news he's still gay". I loved Lawrence and Ronnie's relationship so that was also a highlight.

16th August: the handbag line is great but this isn't robron's episode, this is robert and andy's episode. Bernice also deserves a mention. Funny, heartbreaking, poignant. The perfect send off, really.

17th October: I don't even need to explain this one.

24th October: another one I tried to resist but it's just perfect oh my god it's so cute.

16th December: the pub quiz!!!!!

25th December: their first Christmas together ❤️ I still have Aaron's jumper.

2017 (this is so difficult bc I've never really rewatched it outside of the fandom rewatches)

- 5th January: I don't like this as much as I should, but there's no denying the suits and the Vegas stuff is brilliant. And I love the rolo joke.

- 23rd January: the pub scene is so damn sweet. Robert sitting in the dark worrying about Aaron. Got too much keeping me here these days! You're not on your own you're with me remember! I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else! The casual touches. Just lovely.

- 20th February: DIRTY LITTLE GREASE MONKEY okay the whole thing is perfect but that one line is enough. And also big gay wedding in the morning... queen.

- 21st February: I wouldn't normally do 2 in a row but. The garage scene, the callbacks, the first dance that wasn't a first dance, wouldn't kick blondie out of bed for leaving crumbs.

- 23rd February: 3 in a row is bad I know but it has my favourite moment of theirs (which is different to line and scene tyvm). The fucking forehead heart kiss hug thing it's perfect and nobody will ever beat that level of romance ever. The teasing about Robert's shower gel is also adorable.

- 10th April: partly heinous but then most of 2017 is. It still gave us the glorious picnic and clothes swap so. I've had better, well I haven't! Is that something else you don't do outdoors?! I'm Aaron Dingle I don't eat salmon and I don't have sex outdoors!

- 25th May: my beautiful husband who I love!!! People don't stay with me!! People don't forgive me!!! I love you, still, yeah, I love you more!! Such a tough watch but also all time epic romance moments.

- 19th June: I love them teaming up to fuck over Ross, and the weed plot was iconic. A rare moment of levity in that time.

- 29th November: our robbo back in the mill where he belongs! The chemistry... phew!!

- 25th December: again, one I don't love as much as I should, but their insane love for each other and the fashion in this episode makes it worth it. Robert becoming a real boy is so important to me.

*shudders*

2018

- 11th January: nothing to do with robron, again, but I know in my heart as a chrobert stan I must include their final parting. Also, Larry's death is hilarious.

- 14th February: what did we do for Valentine's last year? Oh I won't even quote anymore, this is on the list for one scene and one scene only: POCKET DIAL. invented romance.

- 15th February: SO underrated. Obviously we have the adorable "I think he wanted me" but also the stuff about it actually was what it looked like and Aaron being so close to choosing Robert and then.

- 22nd February: reuniting with Aaron is part of the bisexual contract <3 bonus points for the delivery of "oh my god we forgot the baby" and the vanity scenes.

- 5th April: the kidnap plot was nonsense but I had to include some of the jobert feud and Robert's worry over Aaron was gorgeous.

- 26th July: the proposal is wonderful but honestly this was even better. Both of them coming up with their proposals, the reactions from Chas and Liv, the fucking Robron and Seb scene oh my god it's too cute.

- 30th July: fiiine I'll include the proposal too. You made it okay to be me! Jinx! Except it's not some random layby! Chas and Liv plotting. The plans to adopt Seb. It's not Lachlan is it! Yeah, just a wonderful episode. Most couples would dream of such a good proposal and we got two separate iconic proposals. Here's hoping the third will be as good!

- 28th September: Robert calling them bachelors lmaooooo. The vadam sideplot was good and of course the stag do and karaoke was EVERYTHING.

- 5th October: obviously. The watch!! Their suits!! The Love We Stole!!! Their heart eyes!!! The speeches!!! Wedding 1.0 is better, but honestly, they really ate this one, too.

- 20th November: Robert hanging out with children and getting his pretty shirts ruined. I stan. This being the thing that makes him realise he wants more kids, very cute. I'm not a parent robron fan really but I was almost cheering here. Shout out to it being the beginning of Robert and Nicola being awful to Graham (affectionate).

2019

- 22nd January: my favourite version of this episode is the secret one that only existed in spoilers but what we did get was great too! Shenanigans with Seb and Spamela and that wonderful chat with Aaron and Moira about their partners being nightmares. All capped off with the cutest lil nap.

- 26th March: the weirdest, most fun wlw mlm solidarity double date dinner. I live for Robert and Charity being the same person being called out.

- 11th April: this gave us so much! Smiling at each other talking about having a family together, Liv standing up to Maya, the absolutely GORGEOUS conversation between Robert and Liv about not having to change for anyone (that convo hit 20 year old me Hard), the ridiculous face Aaron pulls when Robert suggests hot chocolate, if the next one gets your eyes everyone's in trouble, Liv blackmailing Maya so robron can afford a kid, and that damn snuggle on the couch.

- 22nd April: Robert finally gets a birthday!!!

- 7th May: the big night out flashback, which was super well done on the whole. Robron were flirting so badly, I'm married and rusty!! If I met you in a bar, I still would!! The Victoria story was heartbreaking and really well acted. The directing and lighting was so atmospheric as well.

- 25th July: the football team storyline was useless nonsense in the best way. This particular instance featured Robert and Victoria being adorable and goofy and I live forever on the crumbs of a friendship group it gave us.

- 6th August: Robert shamelessly lures his husband away from important accounts work with sex and surrogacy (not clickbait!). Robert and Aaron looking peak in grey and black, and getting lightly slut shamed by Diane. Beautiful stuff. Victoria gets all angsty as is her right and it ends in a lovely conversation where Robert gets really vulnerable about going to prison and giving Aaron something to look forward to.

- 10th October: mention of a classy anniversary trip! The clock ticking so loudly in their ears that they're doing everything possible before their time runs out. Most importantly, the family unit of Liv, Aaron, Robert, Victoria and Seb together properly for the last time. Robert really came so close to having it all.

- 17th October: what is it with the boys and that date in the woods? Though the runaway era was frustrating at times, there's no doubt that their chemistry was on full front here, and their reckless devotion was never more present. From their desperate last kiss to them imagining their dream life in France, it was magical. The perfect way to end their time pre-prison.

- 1st November: the best goodbye I could ever have hoped for, honestly. The details, from the pictures in Robert's prison cell to TWO plays of The Love We Stole. The banter about Aaron knowing the prison cook, the worry, the wedding rings, the moment Robert decides not to tell Aaron and to let him go. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, promise me you'll never forget. All the little touches and the hug that still has me in tears. Aaron being in the background as Robert leaves. The montage. It's so respectful and so important to their legacy. For 6 long years, I was ecstatic that this was the end. They did it right.

[vyzoi]

Idk if you're open for requests but could you do an aroace reader and sae being friends when he was in spain but the media thinks there together no matter how much they tell pll there not so in the end Luna Leonardo just finds them making some ridiculously long plan to convince the media there just friends??

( I may or may not be asking this because I'm aroace and I literally have been trying to find a fic where the reader is just friends with sae 😭😭)

Feel free to ignore btw!

I can try my best !! As an aroace myself, I have not made an aroace reader before. I also haven’t written anything about Leonardo but I can try!!

Happy Pride Month btw 🫶

Contains: gender neutral reader

••••

During your time in Spain, you developed a friendship with Sae. You weren’t expecting to be friends with him, you caught his eye while he was playing a game. He doesn’t have time for relationships, and you’re aroace. So, this friendship was going to be perfect. He was lonely and you stood out to him in the crowd because you were so hyped up for him.

A month later, the media and press were trying to spread rumors that Sae was in a relationship with you. It got so bad that his manager tried to speak up and deny everything. It’s not your fault and no one in Sae’s circle is blaming you. No one is blaming him either.

One day, you and Sae are sitting in the stands trying to come up with a plan to shake the media off you both. “Sae, you could say that you’re gay.”He looks surprised by that idea, “do you realize how much controversy that would make? I don’t care about my image, that’s true. But I don’t want to go that far and cause my management more trouble.”

You and Sae pause your ideas and stare at the stadiums field for a few minutes. He takes a breath, “how about this, I stay by myself for a week or two. I’m seen in interviews alone, I’m not in pictures with you, and I don’t greet you after every game.”

Leonardo speaks up from behind you, “how about you two just stage a break up when there’s a camera around? Make it look and sound like an argument. Your ideas aren’t good at all, the media will catch on again eventually.”

You and Sae look at each other. Why haven’t you came up with that solution? There’s only one way to find out.

••••

I hope you liked this !!

Sorry it’s short 😅

[jimin-bangtan]

⏱️ BTS’s Long Overdue Conversation ⏱️

This post is NOT about the recent AMA situation. It was written long before the AMA controversy, both in my mind and in writing. I held onto it intentionally in order to post before June of BTS's return. Strangely, the AMA fandom revelation and meltdown made me realize that this post was also long overdue.

⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰

Others who speak and write much better than I do have already written on this topic, but I felt I needed to put my thoughts in the arena too.  I have been feeling this way for a long time and have gotten mixed reactions from those I have already shared my thoughts with in conversation. Most people realize that there is a problem but may have differing views on how it should be handled.

NOTE: It's a rather long one. Feel free to skip down past the "HISTORY & EXPLANATION" and "SHIPPING CONTRIBUTIONS" to my “HOPEFUL EXPECTATIONS FOR A SOLUTION" section at the end.

⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ ⏰

OVERALL REASON for a conversation

I feel it’s time for BigHit and BTS to directly address the atmosphere and behavior within the fandom.  Even if they cannot convince people to behave better, I feel they need to make clear where they stand on the present condition of their fandom.  A direct conversation could possibly influence a significant number of people to make better choices or to at least not tolerate those who are causing the disruptions and problems. If nothing else, I feel they need to make clear what their expectations are for their fans in regard to the words and actions that are considered acceptable toward other fans, each member, and the group as a whole.

HISTORY AND EXPLANATION of the situation

When BTS began, they were each assigned stage roles that were at times outside of who they genuinely were in personality and character.  For example, I feel it pained Jimin, who is now widely known to be a gentle, polite, thoughtful person, to have to arrogantly yell at fans “Who am I?!?” demanding that they holler out his name in return.  You could see on his face that he did not enjoy having to do that. He was embarrassed to watch replays of it, and he even later remarked that he would be okay never seeing that again, even though I feel he has since come to terms with the moment as part of his story.  

All the members were given some sort of role or situation to play out that gave the public an impression of who they were supposed to be. Jimin’s role happened to be one of the more contrasting to who he actually is, and it might have given the public the wrong idea of him when they believed that he really was that loud, arrogant character they saw. It started his career off by potentially rubbing some people the wrong way.

Along with these types of actions, early on, BTS also participated in some of the more cringy KPop behaviors and activities that I feel only serve to demean and humiliate the idols, even if it entertained some portion of the public.  I also feel much of the situations fostered more internal competitiveness and animosity rather than team building and unity. 

Since BTS was ostracized, ignored and mistreated, by the KPop community and Korean media, they eventually created their own platforms, shows, and content, then chose to drop the roles and much of the destructive behaviors in their own material. They modeled a better way of entertaining without the negative inclusions. They displayed more closeness and unity and chose to minimize actions that were as intentionally unpleasant or demoralizing.

With their immense talent and genuine charm, which could now be seen beyond the strange, less sincere facades, BTS outgrew the KPop industry as its fandom and success exploded. The industry noticed, but instead of determining what made BTS thrive then copying the formula, they often chose to attempt to minimize or erase BTS and their progress. The industry seemed to want to continue the antics, no matter how destructive they were to KPop, the idols, or society at large.

To the industry leaders, emotionally manipulating their fans seemed easier than actually developing sincere emotions and loyalty from their fans (as BTS did).  Exciting fans with strange, “amusing”, suggestive situations or inciting fights between one group or another was easier than creating exciting stages with challenging performances that continued to grow in creativity (as BTS did).  Also, as seen in politics, they felt it was easier to get rid of the opponent than to have to do the hard work of keeping up and surpassing the competition's obvious talent and rising power and achievements (or so they thought).

I have recently already written about some of the external forces that had designed a goal of infiltrating BTS’s fandom and creating discord and discontent from within the fandom by pretending to be fans. The imitators also would behave badly in public in order to give BTS’s protective, effective, and growing fandom a bad name in the public’s eyes.  (With the obvious attempts to make constant, negative noise around BTS/HYBE, especially during the hiatus, I feel we are underestimating the extent of these fake actors within the fandom.)

Too many of the fandom embraced the interference and engaged in the infighting and destruction. Due to immaturity and hatefulness, some fans initiated damaging interactions on their own. The actions were pitting fandom members against each other but also caused fans to disown and disrespect actual BTS members!!! 

I know.  I have been told that there is a whole "OT7" motto that was used in the fandom, which was supposed to mean that all 7 members were loved and supported equally. Well, based on what I have seen and experienced, it was either untrue from the start or the problems within the fandom destroyed that sentiment in large part. I am shocked and disappointed at the words and actions I’ve seen toward the group and specific members.

SIGNIFICANT CONTRIBUTOR to the problem

In addition to the forced roles that set incorrect interpretations of the members into motion, one of the other main contributors to the ongoing, negative, destructive aura that is permeating the fandom is shipping.  Shipping (for new fans) is a long accepted feature in KPop, where 2 members of a group are considered to be in a supposedly fictional, publicly-acknowledged union, which is often accompanied by a combined pet name, such as "VMin" for a V and Jimin relation“ship”. The short name for these unions is a ship.

Shipping can involve a degree of skinship in order to play along with the excited fans.  Skinship is a performative feature, where the 2 bandmates touch and flirt to titillate fans over the supposedly fake relationship. Interestingly, the ships can exist whether the people involved know about, agree with, or acknowledge the created ship at all. The establishment of said ships originated, I guess, to stir emotions and competition among the fans in order to gain attention and passion for the idols and for the group.  I guess being talented and entertaining weren’t enough.

The long overdue conversation that I feel is necessary would need to be centered in large part around shipping. A lot of the hostility within the fandom appears to be rooted in the shipping insanity.  The envy, hate, and misinformation seems to stem from shipping and the communities that shipping has created - especially those in BTS that involve the Maknae Line members (Taehyung, Jimin, & Jung Kook).

This is because the fans have become emotionally invested and connected to the point that the existence of these relationships have become entwined with their own identities.  Many almost hysterically believe their chosen ships are real and are being harmed by other members in the group or by the company.  It has become a script beyond soap opera (& K drama) proportions.  

BigHit and BTS are guilty of encouraging the shipping culture to varying degrees.  Some of the members (some more than others) did (do?) stoke the fires of shipping within the ARMY fandom for whatever reasons.  When BTS dropped the previously mentioned, disturbing KPop actions early on, I feel BTS did drop a degree of the shipping actions as well.  However, the members still remained close and still were physically affectionate with each other, which may have made it seem that the shipping circumstances were still fully in play.

There are people who confuse genuine physical affection with skinship. In life, some people’s love language is physical affection and with or without a public career, those types of people would choose to express themselves by giving and receiving physical touch.  Culturally, different groups and countries have varying levels of acceptable physical contact with other people, whether same sex or not.  So every affectionate physical touch is not skinship, nor fake, nor inciting shipping.  However, sometimes it is connected to the business purpose of shipping. The problem is often the public's ability to tell the difference.

Idols are entertainers after all, and their job is to entertain the public. Engaging playfully with each other entertains people.  BTS is very good at interacting with each other affectionately and playfully, and their natural camaraderie and appreciation for each other shows. It is one of the features that most people notice about the group, aside from their music.  

People, at times, confuse shipping for what could possibly be friendly interactions - or more controversially, a real relationship.  Shipping, in itself, is supposed to be a fictional pairing of two people. It is also a convenient cover for those who may be in a legitimate same sex relationship, while in the same industry or band, while in a very conservative country, but it can also be used to conveniently dismiss a real relationship that may exist. Thus, the controversy begins.

So the problem is that without any declaration or confirmation from the involved idols, many fans have chosen to declare some of the relationships as real and put an emotional stake in “defending and protecting” the existence of that relationship.  If the relationship appears challenged in any way, vicious words and actions are taken.  In addition to harassment and doxing, the reactions have, more so in recent times, risen to the harmful level of death threats toward the company owners and employees, other fans, family members, and some of the BTS members themselves.

Allowing the uncertainty to remain unchecked, about how BTS feels about shipping and about the reactions within the fandom, has allowed these intense feelings to grow in scope, depth, and intensity.  By there being no consequential responses or pushbacks, the dangerous actors have been silently given permission to continue in this way.

Over the years, there have been a few mild instances where a few BTS members individually attempted to clear up the shipping space, but those efforts were extremely rare and exceptionally mild.  I feel it’s time that the group altogether speaks directly to the fandom about shipping and any other problematic issues. 

Even if they cannot change the minds of those who choose to passionately believe in shipping, they at least should address their expectations for the vile, hateful, nasty comments and/or questions fans are expressing on social media, during their WeLives, in public events, to official government departments, etc. It’s gotten carried away.  It has become dangerous, dehumanizing, and destructive.   

When I first became engaged with BTS, I saw a comment (that I apologize for not being able to give credit to the owner) that said, “Let’s hope the government & media do not destroy BTS from the outside while the fandom destroys BTS from the inside.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand the sentiment, which seemed extreme, but unfortunately I now grasp the intensity of the thought.  How shameful that it’s come to this.

BTS’s fandom grew exponentially fast from the start and then again during the Covid quarantine. BTS were young men paving an unknown path and exceeding everyone’s expectations in the process, including their own. They were too busy, too tired, and too young to know how to manage all of that well, so I am not placing blame at their feet, but I do feel they now need to acknowledge it and provide input. The company was also in foreign territory, where it grew too fast to keep up with all that was happening as well.  However, they have allowed several balls to drop on many business decisions and circumstances, and this is one of them. It is also time for them to act.

MY HOPEFUL EXPECTATION for a solution

Although it may be complicated for BTS to denounce all ships within the group, they at least could firmly, clearly, and directly state their expectations about fandom behavior and the expectation of members’ privacy in the chats and social media conversations. (And by privacy, I don’t mean fun speculation about things that are publicly provided by the members or the company.)

If BTS members are unsure about how it could be done, I have been hugely encouraged by some idols and entertainers who have recently addressed their fandoms and made clear, very politely and professionally - but firmly, that they saw the bad behavior, and it was not what was expected - or they described what was expected.

One was KimWooSung from the band The Rose.

Credit: Posted by Seoul-Bros

Another was Bang Chan, the leader of Stray Kids.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Clakthv Jeon Tae (@clayoongi___jkookthv)

BTS can design their own way of having a collection of realistic conversations with fans about the situation. The coming time seems like the perfect opportunity for them to establish new expectations going forward from this new starting point, as they return from the military and reunite in the next form of BTS, the group. They will have the attention of presently-active fans as well as any people considering being fans as well as any people who left the Army fandom due to the hostility and aggression. 

BTS has graciously and abundantly thanked fans and has repeatedly expressed love and gratitude toward them. A healthy relationship should be honest about the concerns too.

Jung Kook has said on several occasions that he feels relationships should always include consideration, understanding, and respect.  This would be a good time for BTS to take heed to their youngest member’s wisdom and attempt to reset the relationships that they have with fans and that the fans have with each other.  

BTS has done so many exceptional, ground breaking things throughout their career.  I’m sure they could make a significant impact on helping to improve the atmosphere of their fandom - the fandom that they worked so hard to cultivate and grow.

After all, it is long overdue.

⏰

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

95 Willoughby propgaganda time! (sort of)

First of, let's state the obvious because in a 'who's physically hottest' contest, there's no way he should lose to this Capt. Wentworth.

BUT! As much as he's a villain we all love to hate and hate to love, he's also more than that. Out of all of Austen's antagonists, he is probably the most troubled soul.

He's a man who's madly in love with Marianne, but burdened by the responsibility and expectations of his family (estate and legacy). Did he do Marianne wrong? Absolutely. Is he a villain without nuance? Absolutely not.

Re: Marianne's letters and visits: yes, he acted like a dick when she confronted him, but she was the one who sent the letters, despite knowing how scandalous it was for unmarried women to write to unrelated men. She put him in an impossible situation with her public confrontion and there really was no way that would ever not end ugly, plus it had the potential to utterly ruin them both (and Elinor to boot).

Re: Miss Grey: imagine yourself in his shoes, with all the responsibilities and trappings of the society in which you were raised. You have a home that is in dire need of (costly) maintenance, a demanding aunt you depend on, and a responsibility to take care of your family's estate, including providing work for your local community. Do you marry the wild and dramatic Marianne, who's dirt poor and, for as much as she'll give you emotionally, will only strain the finances further (and lose you your inheritance)? Or do you go for Miss Grey with her £50.000 (£5.2mil today!) dowry, who will provide stability and security so you can keep living how you've been raised to expect? I'm not saying I agree with his choices or that he handled things well, but I can understand why he did what he did when looking at it within the context of that era.

Re: Miss Eliza: yeah, he fucked up. Both he and Eliza made some bad choices and she was left with the consequences. There's not much I can or want to say in his (or her) defence there 🤷🏻‍♀️.

So, in conclusion, Willoughby is a masterfully written portrayal of a complex young man. He did some bad things and made some wrong decisions, and he spent the rest of his life regretting not chosing Marianne. I don't think he's a good man like Wentworth is, but neither do I believe him to be the villain he's often painted as.

Anyone who's not a diehard Wentworth fan should consider Willoughby's context before voting for either man. (And he is the hotter one, just saying...;)

Willoughby (1995) Vs Captain Wentworth (1995)

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[menlove]

also no hate full love to my fellow transmascs but the amount of them on that post going "this is why i'm trans/nonbinary bc i don't relate to women" THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS......

i am not telling u ur still a woman or something ridiculous but what i am telling u is there are answers deeper than "well i don't shave my legs or like pink or relate to femininity" as to why ur trans/nonbinary and reducing womanhood down to those things and positing urself as intrinsically Not a woman bc you don't do those things is some internalized misogyny you have gotta look into baby boy

like it's a very scary realization to have i know but if you are a trans man know that there are women out there who look and act the exact same way you do and are still women. and that is okay. you do not have to have the same label on your gender as them. and them existing is not a threat to your existence as a trans man. but what we are Not going to do is deny them their womanhood or revert to gender essentialism.

you do not have a boy brain. you have a person brain. no one on earth has a boy brain or a girl brain. u have gotta reflect and find some deeper more fulfilling answers bc i promise u u will feel like 1000x more secure in ur own gender and gender presentation when you do and stop just going "i'm a boy bc i played with trucks as a kid". you're a man but WHY are you a man? the answer may surprise and comfort you!

[eri-pl]

Fic-thing idea (because ... I need more of them? No, tbh because I want to do something for Númenorian week and I have no Numenor ideas yet so I'm brainstorming) dialogues (more than one, in various points in time) of Faramir and Gandalf about "so, ummm, why exactly did God drown all those people?"

[puhpandas]

of course puggos pizzeria has all the bids on the hex prototypes

[andromeda-nova-writing]

If you have been paying any attention, I’m a big lifelong Beyoncé fan. September 4th is her birthday so I’m using writing as another excuse to listen to her music on repeat. Give me a character and a song from this list. I want to see what I can come up with. (I recommend every song on this list btw. But that might be obvious lol)

CUFF IT

Crazy In Love

BODYGUARD

Love On Top

Baby Boy

MY ROSE

DAUGHTER

ALLIIGATOR TEARS

Pray You Catch Me

Sandcastles

Jealous

I Miss You

Start Over

Sweet Dreams

Flaws and All

Freakum Dress

Resentment

Listen

Poison

TYRANT

[scopophobia-polaris]

oh I figured it was true in your comic I didn't know it was a trope for people to make it not true that's awesome, but I'm really excited to see what you make of it (I love world building and fucked up ethereal entities)

Oh yeah it's a newer trope I've been watching pop up in fic and it's really cool!!!!

And like, I wanna say it I wanna say it so bad it's probably obvious if you read anything I say about OoT Zelda but like? That may just be me knowing what it IS

[no1ryomafan]

This is going to be a semi controversial take but I do not give a fuck: despite everything surrounding it, at some point I do wanna watch Eva simply for the fact I do think I would probably be engaged with it the whole way through-like pilots going through trauma and vaguely sentient mechas? Fuck yeah-but the reason as to why I’m not jumping on the boat already is because I’m scared of the outcomes of what my overall opinion on it will be.

It’ll either be:

<I enjoy it despite its infamous reputation in mecha spaces but I then have to hide the fact I like it regardless if it becomes a fixation or not-if it does become one I’m extra cooked-because most mecha fans can’t comprehend you can like one of the most popular mechas ever while also liking the genre itself

OR

<I will dislike it and become as cynical as the rest of the haters for it even if I won’t try to shit on it or the people who like it that are chill every five seconds because I try NOT to be a hater, but it’s very existence will probably annoy me for a good while

So I’m putting it off as like- one of the last mechas I watch even if that wont be for a fucking while but probably for the best.

[machinavellian]

really thinking about this again

please note, i entered my playthrough of datv with nothing but good faith and have in fact been ignoring all hype about it, for good or ill, as best i could prior to its release. but tonight something hit me irrevocably about the writing that might've genuinely trashed it for me, so... well, those who are invested in maintaining optimism about it probably should not read further.

with that said...

unfortunately, like four hours in i developed a suspicion that the dialogue in this game was written either partly or largely with AI, and... fuck. i cannot make myself un-believe that now. the dialogue is so rote and so flat and so glutted with cliché and so devoid of linguistic and emotional nuance that it legitimately disturbs me. it's like i'm detecting some kind of literary uncanny valley.

i don't know. maybe i'm being deeply cynical. but bioware also let all their writers go and were utterly unconcerned about that fact, so against my will i am now envisioning a room full of shitbrained game execs thinking this would be a fine way to make sure the damn thing ships by halloween and i don't like how plausible it feels.

[beloveds-embrace]

part two of dukedom!141 . please dont ask why johnny and simon aren't in it and why itss end is so abrupt bc tumblr fucked me over twice while trying to save it 😭😭

You could have never expected this. When you had come to your darling husband with your request, you hadn’t known what to expect at all. But you could have never expected this.

“Are you awake, my Duchess?”

My Duchess. Such a simple thing, even used before, but now it rang so differently in your ears. You don’t want to turn around and face John, but he doesn’t give you the choice.

The hands on your waist, on the hand-shaped bruises lining your hips, gently turn you around on the bed so that your bare chest is pressed against John’s. You believe the quilts on top of the both of you are unnecessary, because you, yourself, are already running hotter than a furnace and you wonder if he feels it.

“John…”

“My Duchess.” He sighs again, leaning down to kiss your neck, the soft skin littered with hickeys. Distantly, you make note of the fact that you are clean and wearing fresh undergarments, as is John. He must have cleaned the both of you after last night…

Last night. Just thinking about it is making you feel even warmer, burying your face in John’s broad shoulders even as he hums and continues to trail kisses up your jaw.

How were you supposed to know that your husband is one, big, jealous bastard who is simply too good at hiding it?

“…I feel as if there has been a misunderstanding, darling,” John had said to you, after Kyle had silently dismissed himself and John had rounded the table to kneel in front of your shocked self. Taking your hands in his, he had stared at you with his full attention. “You have been unsatisfied, and I failed to see it. I apologize, wife.”

“John, what-“

“I feel as if I’ve failed you in general, truthfully,”

“You haven’t! John-“

He kisses the back of your hands, and that silences you. “Wife, have I ever made you feel as if I would not honor your wants and needs?” This time, he waits for you to reply and it takes you a second, blinking down at him.

“…no.”

John’s face twists just so slightly, though you still can’t understand what he’s feeling or thinking. “Then, have I ever made you feel as if I would withhold anything from you?”

“…no, John.”

“Then why go to Graves?” John’s voice lowers to a grumble, his brows furrowing. Such an expression isn’t one you are so used to seeing on him, and you dislike it.

His question makes you pause, biting your lips. You want to close your eyes, ignore the warmth in your cheeks, but you can’t bring yourself to look away from him for long before you are sighing softly.

“I feel so… bereft, John.” You admit softly, squeezing his hands back. “Bereft of love. You treat me so well, all of you do, but it’s just-… I want to feel love, John.”

John observes you for a little longer, then he speaks. “And you believe Graves loves you?”

“…no.” Though it hurt to admit, you were never one to lie or blind yourself. “He doesn’t, even if he says he can. But he is willing to give me affection and that is far more than I could ever possibly ask of you, John.”

You could tell that Graves saw you simply as an ends to a means he never thought he’d have the opportunity to have. But you were desperate, and you didn’t want to bother John, or cause a controversy that couldn’t be easily hidden. You wanted affection, love, fake as it may be.

The way he viewed you was nothing new to you, of course. You were a tool from the moment you were born; a glorified breeding stock, just one fortunate enough to be born rich. You weren’t meant to be anything more than that but here, you had it all. Almost. What little else you lacked you were sure Graves could give, even if you wished it was-

“But it’s not.”

Eyes widening, you look at him and wait for him to elaborate, thoughts drifting away.

“It’s not far more than you could ask of me, wife.” John tells you. He moves your hands open, kissing your palms. “I understand how you see it now. Did you truly believe that I don’t love you? That Kyle, Johnny, and Simon don’t love you?”

On top of your wide eyes, your jaw now slackens, staring at him in silence. But he is truthful; that much you can easily tell.

“Duchess, you are my Duchess.” John breathes out, now pecking the ring adorning your ring finger. “My wife. I adore you far more than that fool could ever hope to adore you. Had I known this was how you felt, I would have fixed it in a heartbeat so much sooner.”

“What do you mean-“ because surely he doesn’t mean that. Surely he doesn’t mean what you think he means, something you hadn’t allowed yourself to even hope for. No, no, you are misunderstanding it-

“Duchess,” John sighs your name so fondly it leaves you breathless, left stunned in front of him. “If it’s love you want, I will give it to you. If it’s affection and intimacy you want, I will give it to you. Not just me- all of us, my Duchess. But should you still truly want Graves,” and here, John’s face twitches again though this time you can see that it practically pains him to say the words. “Then I will personally make sure no matter what happens, he will not hurt you or besmirch your reputation.”

Silnce follows his words as he waits for you. Your hands are now trembling in his grasp, stomach twisting painfully. You don’t dare to hope, to reach out even if he’s offering what you want and more on a silver platter.

“John…” you whisper out, afraid that speaking any louder will shatter this moment. “John. Do you- do you truly mean it? Please, John-“

“I do, I do. I always will.” He says, again and again and again, hands cupping your face now so you can see the absolute truth in his eyes. At last, he stands up. John doesn’t give you a moment to think before he is scooping you into his embrace, a wicked grin now on his face.

“Now,” he practically purrs, squeezing you close to the hard muscles of his body. Your cheeks are warm anew, unable to look away from your husband. “My wife said she is unsatisfied, no? I ought to fix that, don’t you agree, Duchess?”

“O- oh, but you work-“

“Wife comes first, of course. And perhaps we can consider talking about the little baby name list you’ve been hiding, my dear.”

“John!”

"I have so many meetings today," John groans softly, one hand raising your chin so he can kiss you once, and then twice afterwards. He leans down, burying his face right between your breasts, and after a few seconds of contemplation you begin scratching your nails across his scalp ever so lightly.

The sound he lets out alone is enough to reignite heat in your belly. To think such a handsome man now is yours... several handsome men...

"So many meetings," John repeats with a sigh, his beard pleasantly tickling your skin. Big, warm hands slide down your waist, caressing where your thighs meet your ass, squeezing the soft plush. "I won't have time for lunch today with you, my dear. But my boys will take such good care of you, promise."

You just let him caress you as he pleases; there's something so inherently admiring, devoted, in the way he touched you then and now. You feel so loved under his touch, whyever would you pull away?

Still, you do look down at him. "Are you sure they don't mind... me, John?" You can't help but ask, such a nervous and worrisome thing. John wishes you'd put yourself first just once, but they have plenty of time to show you each how much they love you.

"Yes." He replies easily, chuckling. "Darling, I'm afraid you'll have a harder time prying them off. Now up, I believe Kyle has already prepared a bath for you. He just went to get you an outfit for today. He'll be the one helping you today, if you'd let him, of course."

And oh, what a bath he's prepared for you; candles alight, rose petals delicately strewn around and in the warm, oil-scented steaming water, and Kyle's fingers crooked deep in you while he murmurs of what a lovely, perfect wife you are for them <33

dukedom au masterlist

[mxrcurysb1tch]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆‧₊˚ Astrology observations pt. VI˚₊☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊

✮ As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. xo

✮ Women with Venus in Leo want the red carpet rolled out for them in love. Give me the princess treatment, fly me to Paris, check us in at the Ritz, buy me designer, show me off. Men with Venus in Leo are pulling all the stops in love. They’re the ones splashing out, being extremely chivalrous. I know a guy with this placement and he’s usually super stingy but when his girlfriend is involved he makes sure she is treaaaateedd.

✮ I once read somewhere that mercury retrograde natives get really annoyed and frustrated when technological errors happen, when the WiFi is loading slow, when they don’t understand how something works on a computer etc. And idk about you guys but as a native myself, I can definitely relate lol!

✮ Speaking of mercury retrograde, I often find that when two natives meet each other, they either understand each other on a whole different level or they c o m p l e t e l y misunderstand each other and butt heads constantly and just generally get on each other’s nerves.

✮ 10h moons and being great musicians. I’ve noticed that a lot of musicians, especially ones that write their own songs have this placement and I think it’s because they’re so good at laying out the details of their lives in their songs and their emotions are a key component in the success of their career.

✮ *sigh* this is one I’m so tired of hearing. Capricorn isn’t just about being obsessed with money, materialism and capitalism. It’s about success, improvement, and mastery. Now I can see the overlap between the two ideas and the significations are definitely there for a reason. In our culture, the sign of success is having the money and the career, the house, so yes those things are likely to be attractive to a Capricorn. However it could just be about being successful and improving in any area of your life not just money and career.

✮ 6h stellium and/or moon might suffer from major health anxiety or intrusive thoughts, even OCD in extreme cases.

✮ Chiron 9h/sagittarius You might feel completely lost in life and like nothing has any meaning. You might have a confusing relationship with religion or be into nihilistic philosophies. Travelling and exploring the world can offer you a sense of purpose and meaning.

✮ Neptune aspects to personal planets can make a person feel very in tune with the psychic world and the energy of the collective unconscious. They might easily pick up on energetic shifts on a societal scale. The type of aspect will show how the native feels about this, what they choose to do with this ability and if it is a hindrance or help to them.

✮ Uranus aspects to personal planets can make the native very susceptible to understanding trends and behaviours in society. They may have a sixth sense predicting trends and people’s behaviours before they happen. I think this is especially prominent for those gen z that have Uranus in Pisces. Uranus aspects to personal planets can also make the native very ahead of their time, and they may propose extremely controversial or shocking ideas and observations that later turn out to be astute and extremely popular. With hard aspects, the native can struggle to harness this power for good and may rub people up the wrong way or even disgust them with their outlandish ideas. With more benefic aspects, the native can be seen as a visionary, someone to be revered and followed.